4

When you hear the name ‘Shirley Temple’ you probably think of the adorable child star whose curly locks won their way into your heart years ago. Do not be fooled. That little curly headed hoodrat was nothing but trouble, in every sense of the word. Trust me boys, this isnt the girl you want to bring home to mom. It's time you meet the REAL Shirley Temple.

Things Shirley didnt want you to know, shirley surely. Haha classic.

She had an eating disorder.
"Animal crackers in my soup. Monkeys and rabbits loop-da-loop! Gosh oh gee but I have fun....swallowing animals one by one" Think she even chews..? Or just..swallows that ish whole?

"On the gooooood ship, lollipop its a sweeeeeeet trip to the candy shop"
Girl you is bouts tah have a sweet trip to the surgeon for gastric bypass! I'm right there with you, Shirls.

Recovering Alcoholic. Double-fisting, nonetheless.

She was a hypocrite. Yeah, wait until PETA hears about this one...

20 years later.....

Slave owner.
Apparently the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 meant NOTHING to you, you racist, tap dancing poodle. I bet her daddy threatened him with dismal consequences if he refused to dance. That is the smile of fear, NOT excitement.

Rebel. No one likes a brat. *cough* Shirley Temper.

Whore.

Yapp..cats out of the bag, Shirls. Suckkkka.

Written by Erika
Natalie commentary in red